Oh Blog, How I Have Missed Thee!

I have been so busy making lattes and frappuccinos that I haven't had much timer, or energy, to blog.  I have had a little bit of time to sneak into blog-world and read some of my favorite's, but that is about it. 

I am completely loving my job so far.  I really like most everyone I work with and actually look forward to going to work.  It has been a long time since I have enjoyed my work and it is so nice.  I love being able to have adult conversations and chat with people.  I sometimes find myself wanting to stay longer at work because I like it so much.  I hope it stays that way and I don't burn out too quickly.


I have been trying to keep up pumping around my work schedule and it was going smoothly, but then the dreaded crack returned, and then I got more, and ended up with 4-6 small cracks.  A few of the cracks reached each other and formed a giant crack.  I have been trying all of my tricks and dropping down to two pumps a day, reducing the time I pump and hand expressing to alleviate the pulling from the pump and nothing has worked.  Last night I tried to pump on a very low setting and the crack started to bleed heavily and I just felt disheartened.  I then took a gander at my other nipple and saw that it was forming a few cracks as well.  So here I sit deciding to quit pumping. I think my boobs have gone on strike and are telling me in their own way that they are done and have had enough!  I am sad and also a bit relieved.  I really wanted to make it to a year, just so I could say I did.  I am also upset that I donated most of my reserve of breast milk because I didn't think I would need it.  I would have a much easier time quitting if I knew I had all that frozen breast milk to use, but I don't.  I have given my babies a full 8-months of breast milk and will be able to continue to give them some for the next month or so. Peter and I have started mixing half breast milk with half organic formula and will continue to do so until we run out of breast milk.  I am looking forward to having the extra time to play with my babies and other kids, to not have to wear a nursing bra or tank, to not cringe in pain whenever someone hugged me or I bumped my own breast, to get a lot more sleep, and to be able to eat and drink whatever I want.  I am very fearful of gaining back all the weight I have lost, but hopefully I can have some determination to not let that happen

This all leads me to the fact that I am going to have to change the name of my blog.  I don't need to talk about my boobs anymore, but I have no idea what to title it now.  Any suggestions?  I'd love to hear them if you have them! 

I have so much more to say, but I don't have to work tomorrow and I really want to catch up on my sleep so off to bed I go.  Hopefully I won't be in too much pain and will be able to get some sleep.

5 Question Friday!

Rules for Five Question Friday: Copy and paste the following questions to your blog post and answer them.  Brought to you by:  Holly





Questions for Friday, August 6:





1. Are you a neat sleeper or a messy sleeper?

I am a neat sleeper and tend to wake up in the same exact position I went to bed in.  I have been a crazy sleeper from time to time and even gave an old boyfriend a bloody nose in the middle of the night once.


2. Fill in the blank. I wish I was more ________________.

Confident and able to say it like it is!!





3. What is something that you wish you had been warned about?

That boys aren't worth it.  I wasted so much of my time on boys instead of myself.  I really wish I could go back and take care of myself instead of focusing on those silly boys.





4. What was the best thing you ever found at a garage sale/flea market?

I'm not much of a garage sale person, but my husband is.  He found a Peg Perego Triplette stroller that was in perfect condition at a garage sale for $30!!!!  I told him to snatch up that bad boy for me and I used it a ton for daycare.





5. If you could have any meal brought to you right now, what would it be?

Lobster and crab rolls directly from Maine.  I think they are the best thing I have ever eaten in my life and I would love some right now.  Anyone willing to bring some to me?


For more 5Q Friday visit Mama M

In Booby News.....

I am trying to get on a schedule with pumping and work and I am trying to not let it stress me out, but it is sure making me tired.  I had to work my first 5am shift on Wednesday and that meant that I had to get up at 3am in order to get ready and pump before leaving for work.  I got up at 3 with the intention of getting in the shower, but decided not to because I didn't want to wake anyone up and it was a good thing I didn't because I would have been late.  I must move slowly getting up that early because I just washed my face, pulled my hair back, brushed my teeth and got dressed and then sat down to pump.  I did my make-up while pumping to save time and I had to cut my session short to make it to work on time.  I am now pumping five times a day for 48-minutes each time and I really want to be able to get that in before heading off for the day so that the twins will have enough while I am gone and because I won't be able to pump again for around 8 hours.  I am also trying to figure out how to work the evening schedule as well because I think I will want to just shower the night before, pump and go to bed early.  I would ideally like to go to bed around 7pm, but I don't know how realistic that is.

It also appears that I have another crack starting..UGH!!

Oh How I Have Forgotton.

Being out of the outside workforce for so long made me forget how crazy people are.  I don't know if I want to go hide back in my house or just smile and be amused.  I just started at Starbucks the last week in July and I already know everybody's opinions on everything under the sun.  One partner (that is what we are supposed to call our co-workers at Starbucks) said that his one piece of advice was to keep my work life and personal life separate and not get caught up in the drama because everyone at Starbucks gossips.  You already know what he did next, don't you?  Yep, he gossiped and told me all his opinions and ways of the Starbucks world.  This is where I just smiled and nodded and thought to myself, "do I look like a freshly hatched chick with no knowledge of the world?"  Oy vey!  I have been warned about this person and that person and who I can do what around and so on and so on.  I just want to work people and make a little money for my family and I don't want to partake in your daily dose of craziness.  Okay, that is a little bit of a lie because I love people and I love studying them and seeing their personalities and what makes them tick.  I am sure I will bitch and moan about my 'partners' from time to time here on my blog because I am only human.  Maybe it is just all the caffeine that makes them hop on the crazy train and maybe I will soon be joining them on their trip.

Grande, Decaf, Vanilla, Non-Fat, No-Whip, Latte Please.

I have been busy learning the tricks of the trade at Starbucks!  I haven't been working a whole lot yet, but I feel incredibly busy between working and trying to fit in all my pumping's.  You also wouldn't think working at Starbucks would be all that stressful, but trying to cram all this information in my head is just crazy.  You have to memorize everything and make the drinks exactly right and it doesn't help that I am terrified of making mistakes and am a bit of a perfectionist. 

Yesterday I had to make all the hot drinks and all the iced drinks that Starbucks offers, taste them and then poor them down the drain.  Actually, my trainer made it first, then I tried it, then I made one and tried it and dumped them both down the drain.  I felt so bad having to waste all those drinks.  I really wanted to give them away, but you can't really do that after I drank some of it.  Today I think I get to make Frappuccino's...woo hoo! 

At least everyone I have worked with so far has been incredibly nice and very helpful.  I really hope I enjoy this job and that it will be the start of things getting better for us. And now I have to go get ready, pump and then head out to Starbucks!

Wordless Wednesday? I Think Not.

I have way too much on my mind today for it to be 'Wordless Wednesday' but I still plan on posting some pictures because I love showing off my babies!

First order of the day is my husband is recovering from his little 'snip, snip' he had done yesterday.  I was supposed to have a tubal ligation when I had the twins but because they were being born at 33-weeks the doctors wouldn't do the tubal in case the twins didn't survive and I decided I wanted to have more babies.  I am sure he will be quite sore this morning and will have to spend some time on the couch with a bag of frozen corn between his legs.  I want to feel really bad and I do for the most part, but, um.....I have had 4 babies!!!  Seriously though, my husband is the most awesome guy in the world and has taken such good care of me after having our babies and after my back surgery years ago!  I am not so good at taking care of him and readily admit it. 

Second order of the day is that I start a new job tomorrow and I have very mixed feelings about it.  I am very glad to have gotten a job in today's job market and am looking forward to having some more income and health benefits in the future.  I am also very excited about all the free coffee drinks I can consume while working and the free pound of coffee I can take home every week.  (have you guessed where I am working yet?)  I am not, however, excited to be leaving my babies and older girls at home while I am at work.  It isn't because Peter won't take care of them.  I know he will do a wonderful job because he is the worlds best Dad, seriously, he is amazing!  It is because I will be missing my babies and girls and I would rather be home with them.  I've been able to spend the last nine years home with my girls and I don't know how I will handle being away from them.  I am a little nervous about working outside the home as well.  It has just been a while since I have worked for someone other than myself and I feel kind of like a "peon" because it's only a job at Starbucks.

Third order of the day is showing you all some pictures of my babies and girls because I can't remember what the real third thing was.  Oops.

The Girls posing for a picture to try and win some Rockin' Green Soap

Here is another I had to add because of Mel's face.

Phoebe, Avery and Melanie

Smiles for you!!

What are you lookin' at?

In Booby News...........

This morning I just sent out 1380oz of breast milk.  That means that I have managed to feed my own twins nothing but breast milk, donate over 18 gallons to another set of twins and still have a little stash left.  You might as well just start calling me 'Bessy'.  Part of me thought about keeping the rest of the frozen breast milk and not donating it so I could stop and just use up the frozen milk and then end up with formula, but I just couldn't disappoint the recipient. I did not promise her a certain amount or anything, but I felt obligated none-the-less. My husband didn't think I should have shipped it off, but he said he understood why I did.



I am struggling with continuing to pump because part of me really, really, really wants to be done.  My boobs are always sore and sensitive and I am battling more and more cracks.  I also want some free time back in my life.  I feel as though I am always pumping or feeding. 

But.......

I know it is good for the twins and has to be helping them grow so well and keeping them so healthy.  I feel that I am obligated to keep on pumping since I was gifted with such rock star boobs.  I am also afraid that if I stop pumping I will gain back all of the weight I have lost and that is honestly what really keeps me going. 

I just don't know what to do and I am going to be starting at a new job on Thursday and I am not so sure I can keep up with the pumping once I am working more.  Do any of you fine ladies out in the blogoshpere have any opinions, ideas on what to do or magic cures for sore nipples?